WHAT YOU GET FOR SENDING YOUR STORIES: NOTHING!
Okay, if your Story is posted, we "may" send send you a "Golden OutHouseGraffiti.Com Laugh Your Butt Off Award" in your email, (a really lame certificate).  And if your story is especially funny we may send you a really cool little certificate with outhouses around the edges, (even lamer than the other award). 

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(1) Halloween in the small mining camp of Acme Wyo (no longer exists, damn!) while pushing over an old bachelors outhouse the pranksters were interrupted by the old man stepping out of his back door and Yelling, "Hey!" At the sound of his voice our biggest kid looked back over his shoulder, lost his grip and balance and fell into the hole. Without him there to push, the rest of us couldn't hold on and the house settled back where it belonged with a resounding thump. In the darkness the old man didn't see our partner in crime fall in, so we had to creep back and rescue him. He couldn't fit through the hole so we had to tip the outhouse over again. (more quietly, this time!)

Next Halloween, same boy and same old man. The kid went to the old man's door with a sheet over his head, modified with two eye holes and embellished with ketchup "blood", while we all watched from behind a nearby tree. The old man came to the door packing a shotgun! Our "ghost" spun around so fast he lost his eyeholes, took off and ran square into the tree we were hiding behind. Knocked him out cold!

(2) 3 of my cousins and I were playing cards in our camping tent when we heard my younger brother yell for help from each of us in turn. Each of us in turn yelled back and told him to "Shut up! we're busy!" In desperation he finally yelled for mom who discovered he'd been playing "walk the plank" over one of the outhouse holes when his "plank" slipped and dropped him into "Davey Jones locker".

(3) the drummer in our band discovered the outhouse behind the dance hall was full of bees while we were setting up to play. He took some Benedril and we continued to set up as people began arriving. Suddenly there was a scream and a crash out back and when we ran to check it out the outhouse door was lying in the grass about ten feet away from the outhouse and whoever had been inside was nowhere in sight!
Mike Kuzara
PO Box 98
Wyarno, WY. 82845
m-mkuzara@rangeweb.net
 

My great-grandparents, Louis & Lizzie Tritschler, lived in St. Louis, MO, in the early 1900's (just after the Victorian era).  They raised their three children on a street where all the houses had outhouses, but theirs was known in the neighborhood as the deepest of the long drops.  One day a neighbor lady asked Lizzie if she didn't worry about her children using that outhouse since it was so deep.  What would she do if one ever fell in, the neighbor asked. 
 
"Well," replied my quick-witted grandmother, "if one ever fell in, I'd just push 'em down the rest of the way.  It would be a lot less mess and a lot more fun just to make another one!"
 
Susan Lea, Lookout Mountain, TN (as told to me by my uncle, their grandson)

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     My great uncle had the distinction of being the youngest son of a family of 7 children.  His father, my great grandfather, was a prosperous farmer who was able to buy each of his sons a 120 acre farm & 80 acres for his daughters.  It was quite unusual for the time for women to have ownership of any amount of land.
     When my great grandfather died, my yet unmarried, adult great uncle farmed the 'homestead'.  He lived with his mother on the homeplace until she died in 1947.  The home had all the modern conveniences of electricity and running water, except a bathroom.  Several months after mom died my great uncle installed the first bathroom in the large, 7 bedroom, two story, farm house.  He converted the pantry just off the kitchen for the purpose.
     His siblings were indignant.  "You mean you made our mother use the out-house all those years while she was living and NOW you put in a bathroom?"  My uncle informed them he had brought up the subject of converting the pantry into a bathroom with his mother.  Her reply?  "You want to put WHAT?!?!? in my house?"  "You want to DO what?!?! in my pantry?" My great uncle immediately dropped the subject and never brought up the subject again.                                 Thomas K.

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http://www.westunion-wv.com/press/outhouse.htm - WV Town has float building contest (July 2007)
RELATED STORY...
     "Last year own town celebrated its 125th anniversary with a parade down Main Street.  A flatbed truck carrying porta-potties for the next day's street festival waited patiently for the parade participants to finish, innocently falling in line behind the last float.  But as far as the crowd lining the street could tell, that truck of porta-potties was itself the last float in the parade!  Everybody got a good laugh, with everyone agreeing that the most appropriate float brought up the "rear!" 
     The festival was such a success last year that it was decided to make it an annual event.  And since the parade wouldn't be complete without an outhouse float, it was also decided to hold a contest to choose the best float for the honor.  A tradition has been born! 
     I'm just an interested citizen, not officially affiliated with the fest, but I couldn't resist making you "privy" to it all.  ;-)     R. B. West Union, WV
 

Submitted by Sandy from Tremont, IL  This is in my basement in Tremont, IL....... I would assume that this is going to be a little stranger than most pics you get of outhouses. I have a sports basement with a big screen TV and lots of games but for years I did not have a bathroom down there. So this winter, I came up with an idea to put a toilet and sink in and, wanting to have something different, decided to make it an outhouse. I won an ebay auction for some barnwood ($25!!!) about 100 miles from me and it turned out to be perfect for my project.

With the help of my buddy, this is how it turned out. It is 5'x6' and a little crammed in, but also has a slanted roof and a sheet metal smokestack (where the exhaust and water pipes run up to the ceiling) Granted, I still need to box in the toilet (still trying to convince the wife), but it turned out just like I had envisioned it. I even have some wood left over to build trinkets for it, like the TP holder next to the toilet. I am working on a tissue holder and waste basket. Hope you like it. I have a lot more pics of the inside also.

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Check out "Tupelo Outhouse" submitted by author, Diane H.

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We were working in Palm Beach Florida one morning and all of the sudden the door of the portable toilet was kicked open and out came a man screaming and he fell to the ground with his pants at his ankles.

As the other workers approached him they noticed a Florida tree frog had jumped from the inside of the toilet and slapped itself onto his ass. 

Who would have known there would be a forum to tell such a story, thanks Outhousegraffiti.com.
Tony H.   from Colorado.

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My mother had an uncle who met an untimely demise in an outhouse in Casablanca Morocco.

Casablanca has a nice long beach. The French engineers built six outhouses several hundred feet apart. Being great engineers, they connected them with sewer pipe and built only one pit which was located in a less hospitable place.

This poor guy went into the outhouse with his pipe and tobacco. When he lit the pipe the whole thing blew up killing two and raining sewage on all the beach patrons.

Pierre Stephenson, Ocean Park, Washington - 888-624-9489 > Ask to receive my by-monthly mortgage newsletter
P.s.  Your site is a scream.  I found it on Beautiful Atrocities. (http://www.beautifulatrocities.com/)

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In the beautiful Blue Hills of Northern Wisconsin our cabin has always sported one of the really nice outhouses in the North Woods.  Our masterpiece, made of logs, cut and peeled right on the spot, unfortunately burned to the ground a year ago.  We saved the hole and erected a new, frame style, outhouse that is carpeted, heated, skylight, ventilated, has His & Hers holes with Hers being furlined!  Wash stand, battery electric lights, radio, magazine rack, full length mirror.  If you're driving through the Blue Hills and feel the urge,  don't hesitate to stop and purge, at one of the really nice outhouses in the North Woods.  The barnwood  siding and the wood stove came from an old church building in New Salem, Illinois, that most likely Abe Lincoln had visited while he lived there.  What better lineage for an outhouse could you have?  We will be writing up a "Bowel Emancipation Proclamation" to post on the building entrance.  Attached are pictures of the old log potty and the new frame structure. Andy Muenich, Birchwood, Wisconsin "The more you know, the more you know you don't know."  Submitted by Andy M.   (See  #10 & #11 at www.outhousegraffiti.com/oh_pictures.html)

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Check out Andy M's "Bowel Emancipation Proclamation"! (I'm attaching the "Bowel Emancipation Proclamation" I've been a long time working on and another wintertime picture that you may want to use sometime in the future when you update again.   Thanx for posting these items and thanx for your website and all the labor that goes into it.   Many of my friends and relatives will be chuckling for awhile.)

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Clarise from Mtn Home Idaho states:
"When I married my husband, back in that day, we lived with his parents in a wooded area. I am from the city and I moved to the country so it was very different for me. There was an outhouse about 1/4 mile away from the house. They put it there because it stank so bad. The problem with that was that I had to walk out there each time I wanted to go and it was in the woods so I was always scared. I guess you can say it scared the crud out of me. It looked just like any normal wooden outhouse with the door and everything. It really stank too." (Did she say it really stank?)

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Not an outhouse story, but it kind-of goes in that catagory...
This is a true story.  If you have children you will probably relate to this father...
As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown, gourmet mustard.  The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.
"Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich," she said.
I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of mustard on my fingers.
I love mustard.
I had no napkin.
I licked it off.
It was not mustard.
No man ever put a baby down faster.. It was the first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only I did it on my tongue.

Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said, "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard . . . "Poupon."
 

Here are some links to some outhouse stories:
http://rootslady.com/The_Outhouse/outhouse_001.htm - stories
http://www.salisburypost.com/2001aug/082501a.htm - personal story and history